Lately I’ve been paying closer attention to how people use social media. Not just their usage of the tools, but how they use the tools to interact with other people.
What I’m noticing, and surprisingly this comes from the so-called ‘experts’ as well, is that many people can be decidedly anti-social in the way they use social media. I’ve seen company representatives get snippy and angry if they are challenged even mildly in blog comments. People on Twitter that speak in statements, that actually discourages interaction. Of course there’s always no shortage of people that promote themselves and their companies, but never anyone else.
I guess the lesson here is, the best hammer in the world won’t make you a better carpenter, if you don’t know how to use it.
Here’s some ways I’ve learned to be more social with social media:
1 – Promote other people. All it does is make others more likely to promote you, and want to interact with you. Can seem completely counter intuitive to companies that want to use social media to ‘get their message out there’, but it works. Every morning I spend 1-2 hours reading feeds and links to interesting articles. These get RTed like crazy on Twitter, and what happens when I link to one of my posts? That’s right, it gets RTed even more because more people are following me because I promote interesting articles and posts.
2 – Watch your language. I don’t mean what you say, but HOW you say it. How you interact with others greatly determines if and how they will respond. If you speak in statements, that shuts down communication. It comes across to others as ‘I am right, there’s no need to discuss this further’. If your tone is ‘here’s what I think’, then that invites others to share their opinions.
3 – Show people that you value their opinions. Just as I was writing this post, I noticed this tweet flash up from Chris Brogan. He said ‘Your responses were better than my idea. Thank you.’ Great example of empowering people to interact with you. From my experience, the room is ALWAYS smarter than I am, so anything I can do to encourage interaction with everyone else, means I am going to learn something.
4 – Show people that you care. Here’s a Twitter-tip. I now follow well over 3,000 people, and I honestly can only interact regularly with a fraction of that number. So there’s a lot of people I follow that I rarely, if ever, tweet with. But I want to let these people know that I appreciate them and am paying attention to them. One thing I do is if I see someone I rarely tweet with mention that they got a new job, or a new car, or got married, etc, I will send them a quick tweet congratulating them. Doesn’t take 5 secs, but it quickly let’s them know that I’m watching and care enough to congratulate them.
5 – Say ‘thank you’ early and often. It matters. This isn’t rocket science, it’s social media.
What do you think? Are you seeing the same things I am, are you noticing how people use social media in some unsocial ways? Do you have more tips you can share on being social with social media? What works for you?
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Good post. I appreciate the fact that you admitted not being able to respond to all followers, but how you try to get around to as many as possible. I once thought I had to respond to everyone that tweeted and have since got way past that. However, if someone sends me a message (@unitedlinen) I make sure to respond.
When I send someone a tweet and get no response, I find that a bit off-putting.
Hey Mack–great advice! to your list I would also add “be nice in person”–I’ve met a few so-called social media experts f2f and they are stand-offish and socially awkward. Not everyone can be a social butterfly in person, but a smile and a friendly hello go a long way.
Good, solid sense, Mack. I think it leads to a basic acid test for a tweet: Does this encourage relationships? If so, it’s probably a good tweet topic/post. If not, maybe one should reconsider.
Scott that’s a problem for me, because if I am in the middle of an ongoing conversation, like during #blogchat, I could be getting a dozen replies a minute. Which means I won’t have time to reply to about 10 of them. I don’t want people to think I am ignoring them, so I try to answer as many as possible.
Sacha that is a GREAT point and I am the poster child for what you stated. When I am at an event, I still assume that no one knows who I am, besides the people I know. So I can appear stand-offish, and moving forward I am going to make more of an effort to be ‘accessible’ at events and not just stay stuck in ‘packs’ the whole time. Thanks for the reminder
You qualify for the Tom Peters Blinding Flash of the Obvious Award for today. What’s remarkable about the BFotO is that it actually isn’t obvious in practice!
There should be a training school for celebrities and politicians, especially, BEFORE they jump into social media. Your post should be required reading.
“Say ‘thank you’ early and often.” It’s not just “social media;” it’s core to being an actual human being.
Point #2 is subtle, but very important. I’ve been trying to ask more questions and be more open on Twitter lately, and the results have been almost immediate.
As part of item 2: Be careful when attempting humor. I’ve written things that “obviously” were meant in a lighthearted way. But it wasn’t so obvious to people reading it.
As part of item 2: Be careful when attempting humor. I’ve written things that “obviously” were meant in a lighthearted way. But it wasn’t so obvious to people reading it.
Very true! Check out this blog post which also talks about social media etiquette – http://www.libertyinteractivemarketing.com/blog/social-media-issues/
Thanks, Mack! This post ties in perfectly with the content of my August newsletter. I’m going to link to it. Your advice is simple and easy for people to implement.
Good sentiments. At its core social media has to be about relationships and conversations. I think this post speaks well to that. How you act in real life should be how you act on social media.
Actually, this list applies to “life” as well–and by following the points it can only make you a better person, too
Thanks, Mack.
One of the most generous things folks can do in social media, especially on Twitter, is connect folks with similar interests or goals. It’s almost like being a good host, at a house party… making introductions and helping people who don’t know each other to settle in a bit. @MarketingProfs (Ann Handley) is a natural at this, both online and in person, and I’ve seen other folks like @CBWhittemore bring people together online, too. On Twitter the other day, @Java4Two sent out a tweet with a hastag #MakeFriends, grouping people together whom she thought would have common interests. What a nice service to her followers, and an even more helpful way to help each other connect than #FollowFriday. I’m going to try to start providing a similar service to my tweeps.
i like the “having a hammer doesn’t make you a carpenter” analogy (w/social media)
I found this discussion very interesting and feel it treads on the larger discussion of people’s personalities in real and virtual worlds. On the web the netizens take the lead and will have total control over how social they want to be. Can this behaviour really be influenced across the diverse networld?
Hey Mack–well, if I ever run into you at an event, I’ll come up and say hello!
Sacha, I should be in Chicago for the Digital Marketing Mixer in Oct. Wanna say hi there?
Mack–Sounds fun. Let me see if I can swing it.
great said I don’t mean what you say, but HOW you say it. How you interact with others greatly determines if and how they will respond. If you speak in statements, that shuts down communication
What’s most interesting about this is how you are explaining how to simply be a social being, something that should be obvious but somehow has been ignored by many social media users. Simplicity rules in social media: Be friendly. Be helpful. Collaborate. Contribute.
Simple, yet effective. Thanks for the positive outlook. It made my day, Mike
What a great post…yes there are times that social media is not very sociable. it’s all about building relationships and making a connection with people that will take you a long way.
Very interesting and amusing subject. I read with great pleasure.
Thanks for a great post. So much of this, as has already been pointed out, is about being social. Twitter and Facebook and LinkedIn are tools, they can’t take you where you don’t know how to go, they just get you lost in new ways. Listening is still very important, and you can’t share about others if you are all filled up with what you want to say about you. Thanks again for pointing this out.
Mack – great post, simple, easy to remember. Make a lot of sense. The internet has given some people a sense of anonymity and they really act badly (read the YouTube comments! Good Heavens!)
We’re all on a learning curve with this new world, and I appreciate your help! Thanks Elaine Fogel for pointing me in this direction!
Great article, funny how courtesy, consideration for others and respect can go along way in social media. Were our grandparents way ahead of us all in Social Media etiquette?
Keep up the great work and thank you.
I would say the maximum value will not be gained from social media if you aren’t social… but you can use it as a broadcast medium and get results.
The catch is that you have to broadcast stuff people want to watch, read, hear. It can’t be non-stop promotional messages.
Treat it like your own mini commercial radio or TV station: mostly play music or televise entertainment programs, then play some commercials *every so often*.
People will stay for the promotional messages if you’ve earned with giving them something they want *first*.