One of the great things about social media is that it lets you so quickly and easily connect with others and communicate with them. But we need to keep in mind that online conversations are really public conversations. And they aren’t one-to-one, they have three sides.
We’ve all heard that there’s two sides to every story. But when it comes to social media, I think we can add a third side to the story. For example, companies that blog are often worried about how to handle a negative or abrasive comment from a reader.
But while the blogger has to consider how to respond to negative or attacking comment, they also have to consider that the blog’s other readers are watching to see how they handle the situation. When the smoke clears, the blogger might have their version of the exchange, the commenter has their version, and the readers see how both parties reacted, and come up with their own account of the exchange. This is why it’s so important for companies (and individuals) to keep their cool and respond sensibly to potential disagreements.
A more obvious example is Twitter. I will often see someone I am following arguing with someone else. But if I’m not following the person they are arguing with, I can only see one side of the conversation. So my opinion of the exchange is only based on seeing one-half of a conversation. Companies, as well as individuals need to keep in mind how others are viewing their interactions online.
Remember that when you are online, you may be directly communicating with one person, but you are indirectly communicating with everyone else.
Mack,
I often think about all the “others” listening to my conversations. On the other hand, the only way to build relationships is to be authentic. And that means some will like what we have to say and how we say it, and some won’t. My communications rule of thumb is to be yourself, 100% of the time.
Mack – a great post. I think another analogy for thinking about writing/communicating online is to think you’re in a panel discussion in front of a large audience. If you have a disagreement with someone, the mass audience there will want to see how you react, along with other “experts” in that field (aka your peers).
When I receive negative comments on my blog, I acknowledge the comments and the user’s insights. I don’t shrug them off nor do I confront them. I offer them a reason for why I wrote this and try to convince them, but I will not scream and shout just to get my word across. Does nothing productive.
I would agree. This is why it is important to be prepared for these types of comments. Anticipating how you are going to respond takes the edge off when you realize the world is watching the confrontation.
Just don’t attack the person back. That usually seems to work.
Great point, Mack. I have always taken the position that anything I write – in print or electronic – can be seen by an infinite number of people. Therefore, I am always cautious not to offend while maintaining my authentic voice. For an opinionated individual, that takes discipline, but I’m glad there’s nothing (I’m aware of) that can come back to bite me!
A few weeks ago I noticed a friend on Twitter apparently arguing with someone. And the longer it went on, the angrier they got, and the tone of their responses got more abrasive. I finally stopped and emailed them and told them to think about how their replies looked to people that weren’t following the person they were arguing with (I wasn’t). I went back and looked at the person they were arguing with, and it appeared that the other person was just egging my friend on. But still, many people wouldn’t take the time to read ‘both’ sides of the conversation, and would just form their opinion based on seeing half the exchange.
Companies and individuals need to keep this in mind when we interact with others online. Myself included.
Sometimes, when you are in business, “being yourself 100% of the time” can work against you and your business, particularly if “being yourself” is being a hothead or abrasive or argumentative or stubborn, etc.” As professionals, we have to tailor and modify our comments and our conduct because we are on stage for all our prospects and customers to see. I think you should be your best “business-self” 100% of the time, which doesn’t necessarily mean being a pushover.
We all probably have moments when we’d really like to say, “go *&%# yourself,” but editing and not being ourselves in these instances is usually the better alternative.
I think it’s especially important to remember this rule on sites like Twitter where you’re often having a ‘conversation’ that many people can only see one side of.
With comments, everyone can usually see both sides of the story and make their own judgments accordingly, but on Twitter, it’s hit-or-miss, and you need to be careful how you come off and the words that you choose when things get heated.
With that in mind though, some people have definitely made a name for themselves on Twitter precisely because they don’t use a filter, and you know that you’re getting the raw feed. However, when you’re name is representing a company and a brand, the rules all change and you definitely need to play nice.
I have often thought that there is a disconnect in our society (espcially among our younger users) when it comes to the Internet (aka Social Media). It is the blurring of the private and public and often people cannot distinquish the two any more…at least online.
People do share comments and things that are very personal in nature and yet, they somehow don’t seem to grasp they are sharing it in a public format where God and everyone else can see it.
So True! One must also try to avoid “drunk posting”. That’s a fun one for the world to see! ; )
This is a very good point and one that may often be overlooked. Great call!
I try not to get into arguments online, but it does happen once in a while. But in a blog post, all readers can see the discussion back and forth and form their own opinion. I haven’t really played much with Twitter, but as Mack says, it can limit a reader from seeing all the discussion.
To the blog expert who said simply don’t respond to negative or provocative comments, it sounds good but it doesn’t always work.
If someone says something outrageous or really off-topic that I feel requires a response, I’ll try it by one-to-one email. That has worked for me a few times.
Mack, Hi
Great post, and this is part of the issue of what scares corporate executives away from trying Social Media.
However, I believe that the largest opportunity arises from the conversations with folks that disagree, and a healthy debate ensues, it becomes Game On, just understand Everyone is watching.
Thank you Mr. Collier for raising an important and overlooked facet in the “Internet” marketing world. Not only am I more aware, but look for ways to use the “net” to build my company up.
Thank you Mr. Collier for raising an important and overlooked facet in the “Internet” marketing world. Not only am I more aware, but look for ways to use the “net” to build my company up.
Thank you Mr. Collier for raising an important and overlooked facet in the “Internet” marketing world. Not only am I more aware, but look for ways to use the “net” to build my company up.
Thank you Mr. Collier for raising an important and overlooked facet in the “Internet” marketing world. Not only am I more aware, but look for ways to use the “net” to build my company up.