As many of you know, my long-term relationship with Aquent, where, among other things, I wrote and edited The Talent Blog, has come to an amicable if somewhat tearful (hey, I’m not made of stone) end. In other words, this hyperbolically hot-wired SMexpert (that’s “social media expert,” if you have to ask) is officially “out there.”
Now, before you start falling all over yourselves asking for my resume or inviting me in for interviews, let me tell you how it’s going to be.
First of all, I don’t “do” resumes. If you want to know what I’ve been up to, check me on LinkedIn. If you want the bigger picture, go to Google and type in Matthew T. Grant. And if you want to see the man in action, fire up the youtubes. Cuz, Matthew T. Grant lets the interweb do the talking, dig?
Secondly, the only interviews I agree to are the kind that get published or you can download from iTunes. And frankly, I’m usually the one asking the questions.
There’s no two ways about it. This guy is electric. He’s on fire. He’s the real deal. He’s a magic man and he’s got the magic hands. Accept no substitutes!
You want some of what Matthew T. Grant is cooking? Then let’s cut to the chase: Money talks and bullshit walks. Make him an offer. At the end of the day, you can’t afford not to.
Plus, you’ll be doing us both a favor.
Bwahahahahaha!
Ding!
Matthew the fries are done!
Walmart to Matthew, clean up in aisle 3
Congratulations. You are now the most pompous ass on the internet.
Matt,
You and Ann brought the Trolls out! I wondered about that in a post I wrote reflecting on your piece and a press release I posted.
I think your ad is interesting, and if I had an opening, I’d hire you. But I thought the reaction to such a post here might be harsh. I wish folks had explained themselves rather than attacked you.
@LewisGreen
You’re the hiring manager for Walmart?
Fair enough, Ann. Matthew, I think your post indeed shows chutzpah. However, it also comes across as incredibly pretentious. As for the terms “SMexpert” and “Social Media Expert”…well, if you were in fact an expert, you would know that social media users automatically equate that term with “spammer”.
Good luck with your search.
@LewisGreen
Not everyone can keep standards high when hiring on a budget.
Fair enough, Ann. Matthew, I think your post indeed shows chutzpah. However, it also comes across as incredibly pretentious. As for the terms “SMexpert” and “Social Media Expert”…well, if you were in fact an expert, you would know that social media users automatically equate those terms with “spammer”.
Good luck with your search.
@lewis
I would explain myself if I felt a dialogic conversation were possible with such an individual. The tone of this page is absurd. I find it hard to imagine such a non-professional functioning in a business relationship.
No, I don’t want any of what Mr. Grant is cooking.
Sick. At least half, if not more, of hiring someone is based on personality compatibility. After reading this, I would never hire the person behind it, I don’t care how talented.
Maybe, to paraphrase Frank Zappa, I should have called this post, “Does Humor Belong on Marketing Blogs?” At least Julie seemed to get it.
Seems like my parody of pompous self-aggrandizement, which I find to be rife on the webscape and even among the SMexperts (that wasn’t funny?), was a little too convincing.
Lewis, I know you were surprised to see this “ad” on the Daily Fix. Personally, I’d be even more surprised if it actually worked! (Frankly, though, given some of the comments it provoked, I suppose it did.)
Ah…if this was a joke, then touche’, Mr. Grant. You got me.
Matt,
Judging from your comment alone, and that this was total troll bait, that trolled the trolls (If that makes sense at all) I would hire you! Good show sir Matt!
Matt,
Well, I know you and the person I know is neither arrogant nor self-aggrandizing. So, I would still hire you. But I wonder, and say so on my blog, what is this ad doing here and why did Ann post it? I’m also concerned that the post hurts you more than it helps.
I thought it might be a joke, but I wasn’t entirely sure. There are so many out there with this exact attitude who feel it helps them in some way when in fact they just look ridiculous. Thanks for the laughs ^_^
@LewisGreen
Lewis,
I all honesty, the way things worked out, this was brilliant! The fact he dropped troll bait that caused people to come to this post and troll him was awesome. Matt got the last laugh and it was fun reading the negative comments. They were quite witty. Also Matt seems to have taken this in stride. To the trolls and Matt, this comment stream had me laughing. Good show to all involved.
Jay,
I guess I have trouble seeing the humor in personal attacks and joblessness.
I do love tongue-in-cheek humor. Heck, half the stuff I view on the ‘net is outtakes from funny talk shows and witty skits on YouTube.
.
But that’s YouTube (and I do hope you ran this on your own blog, Matt–you might even consider a cooking video
I do question why we’re posting ads inside the content here as this has always been hailed as a no-selling-within-the-content site (only off to the side, like in banner ads). Even odder is that the last time you posted here was in June… of 2007! So I guess when you need something, here you are.
In any case, good luck with the job search. I hate to see any of us out of work.
Yikes – I turn my head down for a few hours and Holy Toledo!
Anyway, in answer to Lewis’s question, I posted this — actually, I *encouraged* Matt to write it, when we talked last week and he started joking about this topic — because he captured the humor of his situation and (to another degree, the pompous self-aggrandizement of some business cosultants, social media or not) quite perfectly.
Anyway, perhaps it cuts a little too close to the bone, or perhaps Matt was a little too convincing, as he suggests. But still… this was intended as a light-hearted spoof. Nothing more, nothing less.
It is just a little too close to what one would expect of the real posers amongst us. I think you needed to take it up a notch to make it over the top. Although with the messages and blogs I’ve been seeing recently it really needed to go up 2 notches to be unbelievable.
Either that or post it in 9 days on 4/1/09 when everyone would expect a little of the unexpected.
The real shame is that the people that talk like this are not the ones looking for jobs, it’s the ones that should talk like this that are.
Best of luck to you,
Chris
Wow. A lot of people out there without a sense of humor. Good luck on the search for a new gig and good post. Someone will certainly gain a “hot-wired SMexpert.”
I appreciate people taking the time to comment here. Definitely got more than I bargained for (though no offers, oddly enough).
I especially agree with Chris Kieff that I should have taken it up a couple notches. Sadly, as “over-the-top” as this seemed to me, reality nowadays is just as, if not more so.
And, for the record, I was indeed laid off a couple weeks ago. Not exactly sure what I’m going to do next, but I was thinking of going into comedy….
Matt: I’d never heard of you until this post and therein lies the problem with your approach: if you were more a familiar character around these parts (to CK’s point) you’d have gotten a completely different reaction.
As it were, I thought you were a fictional character, the subject of one of the regular posters’ comic efforts (I had my money on Steve Woodruff) and scrolled down to see who was responsible, with the vague thought in my head that April Fool’s Day was not till next week.
For those who know you, I’m sure it’s quite funny. For the rest of us… not so much. Sort of like watching an acquaintance’s home movies.
Valiant effort though and good luck in the job search.
Woodruff: you have your work cut out for you
Matt: I’d never heard of you until this post and therein lies the problem with your approach: if you were more a familiar character around these parts (to CK’s point) you’d have gotten a completely different reaction.
As it were, I thought you were a fictional character, the subject of one of the regular posters’ comic efforts (I had my money on Steve Woodruff) and scrolled down to see who was responsible, with the vague thought in my head that April Fool’s Day was not till next week.
For those who know you, I’m sure it’s quite funny. For the rest of us… not so much.
Valiant effort though and good luck in the job search.
Woodruff: you have your work cut out for you
Classic work, Matt: you made my evening
But, please fix the URL that points to your Linkedin page. A busted link is an unnecessary speed bump for those who want to learn more about you.
I thought it was pretty funny, and so over-the-top that it was hard to take it seriously.
My only question is, why did the first few of you that slammed Matthew the hardest, fail to link to your own site?
‘B’? ‘Dark’? ‘K’? Come on guys, if you’re going to slam someone like this, at least be willing to sign your name to it.
It appears that there’s quite a bit of sensitivity out there. No matter how crummy things may be now, we must be able to laugh – at ourselves and with each other.
I love Mack’s ethics. Rock on.
[...] maybe all those social media experts (SMexperts, as I like to call ‘em) were actually onto something after [...]