By anyone, I mean customers and clients. The inspiration for this post came months ago when someone here at the Fix, I think it was Ann, wrote a post. I don’t recall the specific post… but what I do remember is that the post generated a few comments about phrases that drive people nuts. Two of those phrases were “I think” and “I believe.”
The motivation to write this post today came from BL whose recent article, What Makes a Blog Popular?, listed some qualities that contribute to blog popularity. One of them was is not afraid to have a strong point of view.
I agree. A strong opinion will create more readers. But do we jeopardize our consulting practice or our business’s brand when we come across as strongly opinionated?
Here is my disclaimer: I am not afraid to tell folks what I think. After all, I grew up in New Hampshire where being straight-forward and honest to a fault is part of the state’s credo. On the other hand, my corporate and entrepreneurial experiences tell me to proceed with caution when it comes to sharing opinions. And I work hard not to be a strongly opionated writer or consultant but instead one who shares experiences, knowledge and my assessment of what works and what doesn’t.
Here’s what I ask you to think about.
Why do people hire us as consultants or as employees? Do they care what we think? Or do they care what we know? Do they want to work with someone who is assertive? Or do they want to work with someone who is more of a team player? If they had their choice between working with someone who quietly gets their work done, meets all their wants and needs, and is easy and fun to work with, or someone who is strongly opinionated, exceeds their wants and needs, and is not so easy or fun to work with, who would most leaders choose?
Obviously, I have set up a black and white test, leaving out the gray areas. And we all know that grays predominate the work place and our lives. But here is my point. What is the primary driver behind hiring decisions?
I think all things otherwise equal, leaders are more likely to want to work with someone who is nice, who is fun, who is a quick learner and who meets their wants and needs. And I think they more often than not choose that person–consultant or hire–over someone who is committed, opinionated, hard-working and often exceeds their wants and needs.
Why? The former makes the work environment livable; the latter creates more grief than most need in their lives. Okay. That’s what I think. (Sorry Ann, I had to say it again.) Let me have your best shot.
In parting, I believe (OK, I managed to get both hated phrases in) we cannot underestimate the power of “nice.”
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Tags: Career, consulting, hiring, jobs, people, qualities, traits
Lewis – All things being equal .. I agree with you and would add a couple of other ingredients to your ’stone soup.’ The ability to quickly cultivate trust and gain respect and the spice of personalities blending with the culture of the organization.
Why are you assuming that having strong opinions also makes it impossible to be a great team player, or that someone who is assertive could not also quietly get their work done, meets all their wants and needs, and be easy and fun to work with?
The definition of a professional is one who can have strong opinions yet who can also put the wants, needs and goals of the client beyond their personal opinions.
Personally, I prefer to work with someone whose personality is transparent and who doesn’t hide opinions.
What would be a turn-off is someone who has strong opinions but who won’t engage in dialog.
Well, you’ve given me a black and white test and that’s a toughie, Lew. Here’s the best I can do to answer it…a great question, indeed:
When I come out with a strong opinion on my blog I do two things:
1. I work to explain why I find the practice to be such a poor choice from a best practices standpoint (take that DOW post of mine where they forgot to focus on benefits in some of their ads).
2. I give recommendations on how it could be better (in this fashion it’s not a rant, but a lesson. On the DOW post I included 3 programs they could have initiated to make good on their pledge).
I also think it’s important that even when we think a certain way or hold an opinion that we’re open to change….hey, I’m as often wrong as I am right after all. That’s the beauty of comments. Many times they open my mind to a new view, other times they confirm my viewpoint.
Oh, in 2 of 3 recent examples where I cited a poor practice or a missed opportunity I also noted that if the company was ‘listening’ that I’d be happy to spend an hour on the phone with them to talk about it (since my objective is change). I had one company take me up on the phone call and another I’ve had an email dialog with–both have been very positive experiences where I feel I’m bettering practices and learning a lot in the process. Plus, I now have new contacts at those companies.
net/net: it’s a balance. if we’re gonna be opinionated we just need to support those opinions and offer solutions.
I think people like leadership and opinions, sure.
But ultimately, people care about themselves and their problems.
Ever notice how the best websites/blogs/gurus, etc… are the ones who solve problems for other people?
Thanks all. Great comments.
I agree that our clients expect us to have opinions but there is a difference between having opinions and being strongly opinionated. And in my experience those who are strongly opinionated are not much fun to be around, because they aren’t open to changing their minds. As CK says, we need to listen and be open to change.
Cultures are built upon a thin crust of respect, dignity, caring, concern, kindness, openness, trust and credibility. Often strongly opionated people don’t fit well because they are so confident they are right, they intimidate and turn others off.
Been there and been like that myself, and have worked hard to change my approach. Today, I still have opionions but I am not strongly opinionated. And even when I think my client may not be on track, at the end of the day she is the boss and my job is to meet her wants and needs, not to meet my wants and needs, which may include convincing her that I am right and she is wrong.
Strong opinions are good and can be extremely valuable. But there are times when they should be brought into the mix gently.
That doesn’t mean to wimp out. But sometimes if you come on too strong, you can block the person you’re trying to communicate with from really listening to you. That’s part of being a successful consultant — not just being smart with knowledge, ideas and execution, but knowing how to deal with people while maintaining your integrity.
BL, it’s not a matter of hiding your opinions. It’s more about having the wisdom and sensitivity to exercise your opinions in a way that will get them heard receptively. Sometimes soft and gentle wins out over loud and provocative.
Thanks David. That’s what I was trying to convey. You said it better than I. It’s a matter of style not substance.
Good stuff since I left this thread. I hear all of you–in marketing it’s about communicating so our audience understands what we’re working to convey (be it conveying a new product, a viewpoint, a new idea). So we need to be mindful of our audience, always.
The thing about blogging is that blogs are so much a reflection of our personalities, values and beliefs. So there’s yet another balance there in wanting to be true to ourselves along with our audience. I can say that I never (!) thought I would be as ballsy as I have with some of my posts. And yet now it’s not a second thought that I wouldn’t express my opinion or why I have such strong feelings on a subject matter. But I never, ever want to alienate my audience…I only want to do my part to better the profession and bring more into the conversation.
All told, I’m learning how to make good on all that and better communicate (while being true to myself) everday. May we all live in interesting times, eh?
“All told, I’m learning how to make good on all that and better communicate (while being true to myself) everday.”
CK, you’re right. Blogging has helped me to find ways to temper my voice (be thoughtful and passionate but not loud or didactic/preachy) so that (I hope) my ideas comes across as one person offering an opinion but also as one reaching out to others to share, even if they counter my thoughts. In fact, especially if they present a slightly different point of view or offer (as you and David just did another way to think about the same thing), which calls on me to consider their points.
David – agreed about “having the wisdom and sensitivity to exercise your opinions in a way that will get them heard receptively”
A lot of us bloggers have realized over time the impact and reach our words can have, and toned down the approach some.
I’m not sure it was clear 5 years ago how far blogging would reach, but it is clear now, and of course we have to think about how our words might be received.
“(I hope) my ideas comes across as one person offering an opinion but also as one reaching out to others to share, even if they counter my thoughts.”
. And I like when you have a strong opinion. I learn something new.
Lew, you are the only person who always tells me “I love you CK, but” when we disagree. You always come across as open–you’ve nothing to worry about here at all. In fact I wish more would tell me they loved me when they disagreed with me (but that’s what makes you who you are
CK,
Well, that’s because I do love you. Fact is, I really bought into the peace and love philosophy of my youth, and try to create a peaceful dialogue that says even if we disagree, we can still love each other. I think you can share opionions without being loud, aggressive, defensive, or personal. Sometimes I struggle with it, but I always want to be trying.
Thought I’d interject in this “lovefest” to add my two cents.
In my experience, whenever I worked in a senior staff position and made recommendations on direction or strategy, I always tried to be gentle and use humor to get my point across. Or, I’d ask a lot of questions to learn and understand the circumstances before asking a question that actually had a solution in it. This was my way of playing down my passionate opinions and confident personality. I realized that strength and passion can sometimes intimidate insecure people.
The sad truth was that when external consultants were brought in, the CEOs often had a greater tendency to buy into their recommendations, even when they echoed what other senior staff had suggested earlier.
Maybe it’s a human nature thing. Maybe when leaders pay for consultants’ time, they think they’re getting something they can’t get on the inside, even though they may have top-notch people on staff. Or maybe they just need that affirmation from someone external to the organizational dynamics.
Either way, I find it much easier to share my expertise and experiences as a consultant, as I find more people are receptive – opinions and all.
Elaine,
I know from your writing that you are a great person to work with, and you have wonderful opinions and ideas.
Yes, it’s true that outside consultants often get a better listen from execs. That’s because we are paying them to offer recommendations, whereas, and I tried to make this point in the original post above, employees are paid to do their jobs, and many execs don’t want to know what they think.
However, based on the little I know of you, I bet execs did listen to you, even if they never responded directly to you regarding your ideas. You and Toby (and others, here too) are examples of being passionate without being belicose.
Aw shucks, Lewis, thanks. I appreciate your kind words.
It’s sad, isn’t it, that many CEO’s don’t have their ears primed to listen to what their employees think. The insight and value employees bring to the table is so worthy. They know what’s going on in many areas, and yet, they feel frustrated that no one cares what they think. They have so much to offer and can help executives understand the real culture of their organizations. When they don’t feel valued, it can create low morale, and a “Why should I care?” attitude. Hence, the revolving door and increased costs to search, train and get new employees up to speed.
From the perspective of someone who has been strongly opinionated for pretty much all of her life, I have to say that it’s actually a balance. During my early 20s the opinionated thing didn’t serve me that well – I was fairly obnoxious (okay, VERY obnoxious, really) and refused to even accept the possibility that there could be another opinion on the matter. Over the years, though, I remained strongly opinionated, but I became both more flexible about my opinions and more reasonable in my way of sharing my opinions.
For example, as a designer (and marketing consultant), my living is based on assessing a client’s current situation and telling them what I think will work for them. It’s also based on listening to client feedback and evaluating whether what they’re asking for is a) something that is reasonable, and b) something that will actually work for them. If it doesn’t meet those criteria, I let them know with no hesitation, and explain to them why it doesn’t meet them. And my clients love me for it.
That said, some clients need to feel like they’re right all the time and refuse to trust my professional judgement; one client I worked with briefly even called listening to my advice “being subservient” (I wasn’t even wearing a corset!). These clients inevitably can’t stand my approach and prefer not to work with me. Fortunately, however, I find that, if the opinion is honestly given, and the reason for the opinion is articulated well, at least 80% of folks I’ve dealt with have no problem with it – in fact, they prefer it.
From my experience I could see that being strongly opinionated (what I am quite by nature) gets people around feel uncomfortable, most (let’s say 80%) of the time. Even if they claim they prefer straight forward people rather than timorous.
On the other hand we all know that people follow not counsellors/consultants who seem unsure of their statements. They feel like you’re trying to “sell” your product anyway, just because you’re supposed to do it.
Being firm though opened to other thoughts seem to be the right track then. Let’s say “I think”.
PMFJI, I am late to this conversation…but I have a some thoughts on the matter (great topic, BTW).
We are a nation of hero-worshippers. We look for heros…and if none present themselves, we invent them. So many business leaders (and consultants) who are aggressive, forceful, opinionated, commanding take advantage of this human nature. Hire me…because I have all the answers. These types seem to be exceptionally proficient at grabbing credit and shifting blame!
It is hard not to fall into the “hero trap” ourselves. I once ran a direct mail campaign for a client that generated a whopping **50%** response rate! The client was…to put it mildly…blown away. What they didn’t know was…SO WAS I…I had NO IDEA we’d get anywhere near that kind of response. Don’t get me wrong, I did a lot of work on that piece: carefully determined the approach, crafted a strong message, determined the best time to launch, researched the perfect mailing list, etc. But in no way did I anticipate the ridiculous level of the final result. Luck…and timing…played to our advantage.
It was hard NOT to act like this was the logical conclusion of my genius! You have to be really secure in yourself to admit to your client that you are as surprised as they are…and not try to fool them into thinking you are (or let them make you into) some type of God!
Like many, in my younger days I was a major opinionated jerk. Now, with more experience under the belt, I can honestly say that the real answer to the conundrum you present is not (as we like to say in our industry) digital (on or off…black or white). It is, a fine balance. Clients are hiring us consultants expecting an expertise or proficiency beyond that which exists in-house. At the same time, we need to accurately ascertain the REAL needs…which can vary greatly from their PERCEIVED needs…and deliver what-in our assessment-the client truly needs to be successful. And we need to deliver this message in a manner that is approachable. If this is not what they want, then explain your approach. If they cannot see the wisdom of it…either continue as they wish (with your duly registered disclaimer)…or more honestly, excuse yourself from the client.
In any event…great topic, keep up the good work!