Whatever happened to communicating to an audience of one? It’s one of the first concepts that every writer learns….
It goes like this: Write as if you are telling a story to a single person. Imagine that person sitting and enjoying the words jumping off the page and coming to life in their minds. It’s what CK often says and what everyone who ever took a writing class learned as “show don’t tell.”
The way it works is, if you can imagine your audience of one, you can write to them in ways that make sense to them; you can share your story in their words not yours; you can create images that they have seen before and so they know what they look like; you can create a picture in their mind’s eye.
So whatever happened to this concept? Fiction writers still seem to write this way, simply and concise and in metaphors and images that work. Some nonfiction writers do, as well. But in the business world, this kind of writing seems a lost art. I don’t mean to be crude, but so many of us write like we have a stick up our butt. The writing is formal, stiff, complex, boring and written to and for ourselves, not to and for our audience. Here’s what I mean:
“Although traditional value-added marketing processes will continue to play a role in the evolution of the marketing function, marketers need to focus their attention on new processes and capabilities. Enterprises must find time to develop and master more-advanced marketing processes by improving the efficiency of the marketing function, and by shifting resources to be better aligned and to produce greater value. By 2007, marketers that devote at least 50 percent of their time to advanced, customer-centric marketing processes and capabilities will achieve marketing return on investment that is at least 30 percent greater than that of their peers, who lack such emphasis (0.8 probability).”
Man, I couldn’t finish this graph, let alone read the whole piece. Who talks this way? And this is nowhere near the worst example of how marketers write. Try this from a great company’s (as defined by age and valuation) web site:
“Imagination Breakthroughs are the way GE grows. They are market-driven, customer-focused innovations that deliver solutions for our customers and organic growth for our shareowners.”
You’re kidding me right? What the hell are “Imagination Breakthroughs” that “are market-driven, customer-focused innovations…” blah, blah, blah.
Who is the audience for this drivel and what image is created? The image I get is that stick up a person’s…
We have got to do better. We have to find the words that create images in our audience’s mind’s eye. We have to show not tell. And by the way, going back to the GE example, we have to be honest.
GE didn’t grow “organically.” Far from it, They grew through mergers and acquisitions during the Welch era. Instead of building solid floors from the foundation up, they loaded whole buildings onto giant 16 wheelers and attached them by string to a disconnected bunch of crumbling foundations.
Now, I am not here to discuss or to criticize how one grows a business. But can’t we find better words and ways to communicate these things in interesting and credible ways?
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Lewis – I found myself nodding my head through your whole post! Bravo.
Hi Lewis,
Strong post. Our goal should be to couch even the most complex and profound ideas in the simplest of language to be truly effective! As you say, think of your audience; put yourself in the place of the person you’re talking to, and then begin to write! Excellent!
Yeah! Sometimes companies feel as if they’re not getting what they paid for without the gobbleydygook-stick up your @#$% language. In CK’s first post “Goin’ Social: Hard Because It’s Simple” gianandrea facchini made this comment: “don’t you think that making things complex is a way to defend, at least short term, your job? you are a graduated guy, you now work for the BRAND after several years of experience on job assignement more and more rewarding but tough, too. your mantra is that marketing is top down, is a way to make people eat as quick as they can what you have just produced (well the original is far harsh than this). all of a sudden, a very simple thing as to talk to people and sit down and listen is a powerful marketing tool. that’s unfair, isn’t it?”
It kind of applies here because people want to look like they know what they’re talking about and they think by talking like a corporate robot they will achieve respect and credibility.
I’m not as formally educated in the marketing speak as most of the people on this site so I tend to talk from my own common sense, experience and especially my heart.
lewis, how strange is for marketing people, most of them in charge of communication, not being able to communicate in a plain and effective way.
tammy, thanks for quoting. i really believe that people does speak in obscure way to keep an aura of being literate and irrefutable for their audience.
Great comments all. Claire’s keep it simple is our starting point; Tammy’s comment about ego getting in the way is so true; and Gianandrea, it is strange(and puzzling) that so many (not most, I hope) make comunications so complex.
This is especially confounding to me since we know that the consumer is going to spend only a short time deciding whether our message is worth consuming. If we make reading the message work, what are our chances they reader will pay attention?
“We have got to do better. We have to find the words that create images in our audience’s mind’s eye. We have to show not tell.”
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Well said. As I said over at Mack’s blog, it’s a challenge to stop telling–we’ve just been doing it for so long.
There’s a great saying in screenwriting that goes “Arrive Late. Leave Early.” It espouses that you should get straight to the point and leave your audience wanting more (not exhausting them). Along with “Show don’t Tell”, it applies to marketers. We all need to search for more relevancy and honesty–and keep it shorter. I know some of my past messages have gone on too long
CK,
You never go on too long. We do need to be concise and to write in ways that create imagery. And your writing always does that.
I love the screenwriting saying. All too often my clients want to tell their audience every detail and boring fact. Who cares?
The message in a bottle gets much more positive attention than a barge-full of crap.
Excellent! Anyone who writes in the business world often should read a few books on how to write. “On Writing Well” by William Zinsser is a perfect example.
Very good post.
I am going to be a bit cynical here. I think difficult language is used when the writer a) do not know what he/she is talking about b) Do not want his ideas to be understood by the listener intentionally c) Education has ruined him.
I think simplicity is the key in writing good stuff. Then only the audience can understand and get your message.