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Getting comments on a blog post is one of the most positive outcomes you can experience as a blogger. Comments are rewarding on so many levels. Think about it, your readers are...
- Moved to action by what you wrote
- Giving you feedback, either to improve your idea or validate it
- Interested and engaged
- Reaching out to you to let you know that they’re listening
- Firing you up to post again and again and again
This list, of course, can go on.
But what happens when you get a negative comment? One that throws you off, crosses the line or just generally seems like the person made an appearance to stir the pot? Let’s discuss.
Negative comments generally fall into one of two categories:
1. Wholehearted disagreement with your post
Description: Things may get heated during a debate like this, but no line is ever crossed. You do, however, feel like the person commenting is just trying to goad you on.
Approach: Engage the person. Ask a lot of questions. If you’re so sure about your point, get them to defend theirs. If you’re being asked to defend your point, defend it – but recognize the other person’s point, particularly if they’ve made you rethink your position. If your guest just seems to want the last word and is becoming repetitive in their arguments, then let them have it and move on. But, remember, always make sure that they know that their input was appreciated. In other words, be the bigger person.
2. Rude, obnoxious, line-crossing behaviour
Description: Pretty self-explanatory here. This can include the use of foul language, name calling, slurs – generally things you wouldn’t want said to your face.
Approach: This is a little trickier to deal with. Do you address or completely ignore the comment? Do you delete it? First, you have to measure just how far the line was crossed in relation to your own standards. Sure, sometimes this will be quite obvious, but the important thing is that you set a standard and stick to it. For example, just this week Cathy Mosca reminded Tom Peters’ readers of their “living room” rule, which means, “Don't behave in any way you would not behave towards guests in your home.” Simple, efficient and sensible.
I look at it like this: If someone writes something you wouldn’t accept in your home, let them know with a warning, private email being best. If they really cross the line, either ignore them or kick 'em out. Remember, this is your blog. Though you should keep in mind that your actions are being measured and evaluated too. So be a good host at all times.
Last point: there is no hard and fast rule on how to handle this issue. Blogs being blogs, so much is up to you to decide for yourself. If it feels right to you, that’s all that really matters. If you’re looking for more guidance, though, take a look at the replies I received when I put the question out to my Twitter followers. These are good answers from smart people.
So, how do you handle negative comments?
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Comments
If a person leaves a negative comment that makes no sense, I delete it. Why bother with him/her?
I don't quite see disagreements as negative.
Posted by: Emon | 05.08.08
Mark, this is excellent advice. In life, when confronted with negative behavior I try to engage and understand. When it's clear that the person does not want a true discussion I move on, always seeking to remain positive. Blogging is like acting, you can't read the positive reviews and ignore the negative, you have to take it as a whole. Thanks for the helpful tips!
Posted by: Karen Swim | 05.08.08
Emon: You're right, disagreements aren't negative. However, when you first read a comment from someone who vehemently disagrees with you, it can sting just as badly. In that situation, you've got to make sure to react rationally, don't let your emotions get the better of you.
Karen: I like your analogy. You definitely have to look at the whole picture and take the lesson from there.
Posted by: Mark Goren | 05.08.08
Yes it strange how brave people get behind a computer.
Posted by: Wade Balsdon | 05.08.08
Mark,
I learned the hard way. About a year ago, I wrote a post that I knew would raise the ire of some. But I never expected personal attacks. I was mistaken, and unprepared for them, I handled the comments badly.
Learning from that, I now prepare for every kind of potential comment. When I receive a personal attack, I take a deep breath and reply with as much dignity and sensitivity that I can muster.
Using that approach, I can and do welcome any and all comments, as long as we avoid cussing, cursing and rudeness to other readers or commentors.
Good post!
Posted by: Lewis Green | 05.08.08
Thanks, Mark. This is a timely post. Our blog launched today and I'm very interested in knowing how others feel about how to handle negative comments. I'm thinking, unless it's flaming, you try and be diplomatic and engage the commenter. But, it's good to read how other feel about where the threshold is for enaging and closing the door. Much appreciated.
Posted by: Nick Vance | 05.08.08
Thanks, Mark. This is a timely post. Our blog launched today and I'm very interested in knowing how others feel about how to handle negative comments. I'm thinking, unless it's flaming, you try and be diplomatic and engage the commenter. But, it's good to read how others feel about where the threshold is for enaging and closing the door. Much appreciated.
Posted by: Nick Vance | 05.08.08
Wade: How true. That should go on a poster!
Lewis: Trial by fire, that's how most of us learn so many aspects of blogging. What it all comes down to is finding a standard that you're comfortable with and being able to look at yourself in the mirror every time you're in one of these situations. Thanks, Lewis!
Nick: Glad you could find some value in this post. Good luck with the new blog – I'm heading over to check it out!
Posted by: Mark Goren | 05.08.08
Thanks again, Mark. Your comments on our blog most welcome. However, any negative comments will be send directly to legal ;-)
Posted by: Nick Vance | 05.08.08
MarketingProfs is getting some not-quite-positive comments of its own today on Twitter re: AllTop.com. http://summize.com/search?q=marketingprofs
Posted by: Bruce | 05.08.08
Morning,
It takes two to fight. So I take advantage of being professional and say, thank you for your input...and leave it at that.
You can't please everyone....so please yourself, first and foremost. The rest falls into place.
Data points,
Barbara
Posted by: Barbara Ling | 05.08.08
Nick: Good one!
Bruce: Thanks for pointing this out, I wasn't checking out Twitter much today.
Barbra: Can't go wrong with that policy. Nicely stated!
Posted by: Mark Goren | 05.08.08
As Bruce suggests, MarketingProfs had an interesting day on Twitter today. We were listed on Guy Kawasaki's marketing.alltop.com, which is quite an honor. Unfortunately, a well-intentioned staffer -- who didn't know Guy or his reputation -- asked him to remove our feed from Alltop, believing he was scraping our content w/o authorization.
I learned about this after the fact, from folks on Twitter who were talking about it. If you follow Bruce's link above, you can see the whole thread. What you can't see is me recoiling in horror, and my heart exploding while I tried to piece together what had happened. In summary, it was devastating. It's never easy to hear bad things about something you love, however incorrect or unfounded or muddled.
But at the same time, the rational part of my brain actually APPRECIATED Twitter a whole lot. I valued that immediate and painful feedback, because it acted as an early-warning sign that something had happened that needed response. I was able to deal with the situation -- I called Guy and explained -- before it turned into something we'd try to puzzle down the road. ("Wonder what happened in Q2 when we lost all those members....?") I'm exaggerating, but you get my point.
In other words, negative hurts. Revolutions are painful, as my friend CK says. But I wouldn't want it any other way.
Posted by: Ann Handley | 05.08.08