Lewis, it's good to be a dreamer. And yes, I think many of the connections we make online do become real friendships and/or real working relationships. It's another example of how the world is becoming a smaller place with fewer boundaries and barricades to prevent people from connecting as people.

I agree, Lewis. Whenever I've made virtual friendships, it adds another dimension when we meet in person.

This fall, in fact, I hope to meet some marketers and MP bloggers when they come to Phoenix for conferences.

Hope you liked my old home town - Toronto. I'm heading back there this fall, too. Gee, if anyone wants me to speak on branding or customer service there, let me know. Never hurts to write off a trip! :)

David and Elaine,

It seems as if our opportunities to build relationships are ever-expanding. Here's one of the downsides I've noticed.

When we build relationships in the real world, we learn each other's strengths and weaknesses and develop a sense of foregiveness and tolerance. We become friends and with that comes a sense of loyalty. Online, I can't help but notice that some (not all) friendships come and go when we disagree or fail meet the other's expectations. Especially if we disagree. To me, that isn't friendship.

A very smart guy who has a very popular blog recently told me, as I shared some personal experiences with the breakdown of what I thought were friendships, that I am too ready to accept friendships that developed online based on shared communications and what passed as friendship. In both of these instance, we had a meet-up like the one described in the above post and behaved as friends. Yes, the friendships were more like dust in the wind than the real thing.

I wonder if anyone else has experienced such examples and have suggestions about what we should learn from those who are quick to proclaim friendship but as quick to disclaim the same. In my 61 years, I had not experienced that until I began blogging. Does anonymity or facelessness or touch allow such things to happen more easily?

Lewis,

The virtual world allows us to "meet" a significant number of people we wouldn't otherwise have the chance to become acquainted with. Yet, true friendships develop over time and in real places and situations. Thus, I would call people from relationships formed online acquaintances, not friends. In the few instances where we really click with acquaintances we meet in the virtual world, those relationships might turn into solid, lasting friendships.

I find it fascinating in this day of FaceBook and blogs, that people sometimes equate acquaintances and friends as one and the same.

Thanks for another thought-provoking post, Lewis.

Claire,

That is exactly what the other blogger I mentioned said. We are fortunate to be reminded by smart folks such as yourself the difference between acquaintances and friends. Recognizing the difference can make our communications better and we might avoid hurt feelings.

Initially, I hadn't intended to bring this up but I am seeing more than a few hurt feelings, which might come out of us not recognizing the difference between conversation between friends and ones between peers and acquaintances.

Exactly, Lewis. I would also add two more thoughts: people should not be hurt when their virtual "friends" don't turn into real ones. We should all understand that in life, we will make many acquaintances and a few, true-blue friends. All the more reason to treasure the latter.

Secondly, I would comment on another of your statements:
"We are fortunate to be reminded by smart folks . . ." Again, I think this might be a misnomer. Are we smart, or are we wise, having lived for a few decades and experienced more of what life offers, good and bad? Just food for thought.

Lew, what a fun post highlighting both sides of the virtual/real equation. I have found that the virtual world - specifically blogging - allows one to build a stronger relationship foundation. The real interactions help validate and strengthen the virtual foundations. However, virtually allows one to find kindred spirits more easily [vs. real world where it is more similar to finding a needle in a haystack] and then speed up the intellectual process of getting to know one another. Regardless, tho, relationships are built over time as Claire says.

Seems to me that social media is an incredibly effective way of finding potential friends - acquaintances who have shared interests, and who may become, over time and with richer contact, real friends. The current tools certainly allow us to get more familiar with one another by sharing, much more quickly - and that's a great thing! In the NYC meetup last week, I was among acquaintances with whom there was already a high comfort level, despite no prior face-to-face contact (except with CB). The virtual and face-to-face work very well together.

I totally agree. I have stepped into the virtual world and have mixed feelings about it. I love the basic networking sites, but quite frankly, concepts like SecondLife scare me. I cannot imagine living in a world where there is no human contact and everyone interacts via the internet with virtual reality helmets on. It's all a little too "Total Recall" for me. But I think the virtual leading to nurturing real relationships is a beautiful thing.

Lewis - First we missed you at CK's wonderful happy hour; one day our virtual paths will morph into the real word. In the meantime, we'll take advantage of what technology offers us .. from blogs to email to facebook. When we do clink glasses we'll know each other a little better and our relationship, as C.B. put it, will have continued to develop over time.

To bring this full circle from the virtual to the 'real world' this post was read by a (non blogger) friend who dropped me an email that said, " ... that it not only mentions you but talks about the value of human to human connections made me think how overdue we are for a lunch." So thanks Lewis for bring 2 'real world' friends together.