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Andrea Learned Andrea Learned   Bio
01.05.07

Look Who's Talking: Men & Women in Digital Connection

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As we close out 2006, one thing I've noticed is that today's technology seems to help men embrace their supposed "feminine" brain traits for connecting without being considered "unmanly"....

You've likely experienced the women talk/men don't phenomenon to some degree. But women aren't necessarily the only ones with empathic brain traits driving them to share stories and connect with others. According to psychologist and author of The Essential Difference(Basic Books, 2004), Simon Baron-Cohen, the average male brain has both empathic and systemizing traits, with a leaning toward the latter (and vice versa for the average female brain). So, most of us have a mid-range interest in connecting - women just have the reputation of following through on that interest with dedication.

Thanks to always-on phones, text messaging, email and social networking sites (among other things), it seems like men may be getting more comfortable with what has traditionally been seen as a female trait - connecting. Perhaps it is the cellphone screen or computer monitor inherent in the technology that make it easier for more people - and especially those with typically male brain traits - to give in to their empathic, story sharing, intertwined tendencies. Does the physical barrier or distance between humans in technology-based conversation make each person feel more protected/less vulnerable in interactions with one another? I'm no psychologist, but I wonder.

Anyway - the trendwatching authors of The Future of Men (Palgrave, 2005) point to a shift in society's definition of what can and should be considered masculine, loosening the reins on male behavior so that more of them can be who they are and do what they want "without fear of being 'outed' as unmanly."

Technology seems to be serving us well in this transition. More behind-the-screen connecting will likely lead to more comfort with the whole idea and then, perhaps, more interaction of that sort without the screens. Who knows?

But, back to my New Year's prediction: Whether through technology or otherwise, there will be significant future marketing implications in inspiring both men and women to more fully embrace and utilize their empathic brain traits. Read Daniel Pink's A Whole New Mind (Riverhead Books, 2005) again, if you still aren't convinced.



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Comments

"women talk/men don't" Um, tell that to my wife and women friends. I out-talk all of them.

Posted by: Lewis Green | 01.05.07

In all cases, Lewis - I'm referring to "typical" female or male traits. Anecdotally, I am very happy to know quite a few men who, like you, embrace their communication skills. More power to you (apologies to your wife). :-)

Posted by: Andrea Learned | 01.05.07

Having spent time in conversation with Lewis AND his wife, I can assure you -- the man speaks the truth. He's a Chatmaster, that's for sure. (Love ya, Lewis!)

Interestingly, I find that men comment far more on blog posts, for example, than women do.... so maybe that's a clear sign of the technology advancing some skills.

Posted by: Ann Handley | 01.05.07

Interesting point Ann ... and something that does come up when we have coffee meetings for Sydney bloggers is the difference between conversation online vs around the table. There is certainly other dynamics in play when you are face-to-face. I will have to give this some more thought!

And Andrea ... great post. Did you see this link on the sex of your brain? Interesting ;)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sex/

Posted by: Gavin Heaton | 01.05.07

So true, Ann. Men are very comfortable commenting and getting into longer correspondence conversations via blogs. Who'd have thought?

And, Gavin - I am all over that brain sex link (I had not seen it before), and will report in on what my brain turns out to be. ;-)

Posted by: Andrea Learned | 01.06.07

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