This is a great topic. I especially agree that there seems to be a "division of labor" among friends. I have more friends now than I ever did before - and they are all amazing in their own ways and at different things - makes life a whole lot more interesting!

I think this is a great topic also. There is definitely a division of labor between all the close friends I have. I have the ones I gossip with, the ones I talk about personal matters with, and the ones I can discuss serious matters with. I have yet to find all that in one person, but that's okay. I agree with ann when she says it makes life more interesting - couldn't have said it better myself!

Our overall social network is greater because we added a whole new way to not only make, but keep up with friends. There are friends from college or high school that I probably would never talk to, if not for myspace or the web in general.

The loss of close friends probably has as much to do with increased work time, as increased anything else.

P

"Here's what I wonder: Are social ties really fraying? Or are they just shifting, and reweaving themselves in a different pattern?"

Wow great question....I go for the latter.

Great (and important) topic indeed.

The tools we have today do extend our reach, influence and freindships.

I believe our social fabric is shifting, not fraying. Whether sociable or not, your situation gets magnified.

Online conversations shouldn't replace offline relationships, they should enhance them. I believe they do - if we want them to.

Fascinating study! I think the Washington post nailed it when it summarized that "More Work, More TV, More Internet" could be causes for concern.

Another institution impacted by all this craziness could be the family. Interestingly enough, TIME had a recent article on "The Magic of the Family Meal": http://www.time.com/time/archive/preview/0,10987,1200760,00.html, that covers some of these issues.

In my opinion, it's not the quantity of contacts one has but rather the quality of them that counts.

- Mario
Marketing Nirvana

I'm a very social critter myself and would have to say that things have changed and it is a potpourri of good and bad.

I don't hang out with friends for a casual beer as often, but I email or blog with friends every single day.

I don't go out to bars/ clubs/ movies/ etc very often anymore, but I email or blog with friends every single day.

I am in contact with friends and family every single day now. I know I have family members who read my various blogs to find out what is happening in my world.

I feel guilty when I don't talk to my friends or see them, but I feel the same way about blogging too. If I don't post, I feel guilty.

I almost never watch TV anymore. If I have the time to watch TV, I have time to send an email, read a blog or post to one of my blogs... if I'm not doing other work for my day job or one of my personal clients.

The world has changed so much. We didn't use to have laptop computers that we could carry home from the office and extend our work days later into the evenings. I know I didn't have that chance in 1985. I can't remember a night now where I haven't been on the computer working... after getting home from work.

It's both good and bad, but I have to admit that I kind of like where things have progressed.

I think the definition and expectation of friendship has evolved. To me people around me are like stars in a solar system, where I being the sun at the center. Each person is rotating in an orbit of its own.
Each orbit is like a band of relationship. So I have work friends, work colleagues, just co-workers. I have coffee friends, drinks friends and dinner Friends.
Depending upon each level my interaction is changed; at some places I am more open to express my feelings than others.
I have friends sitting in other continents with which I discuss my intimate life and fears and thoughts. Then I have others who I meet on a daily basis and have a different sort of closeness.
So in a nutshell, the meaning of friendship has evolved, ease of communication has given us more choices, more options.
It's not loneliness; it's a paradox of choice.

I would have to say that for me I believe it’s a combination of the two. Thanks to the internet, email, messaging and blogging, I have somewhat of a personal connection to many interesting and talented people. I have also been able to find and reconnect with friends who I had a one time been very close with, but due to different circumstances lost touch with.

At the same time, I very rarely see most of my close friends face to face. We message, or email and have short phone conversations. We are now able to carry on conversations over an expanded amount of time, which has its own rewards. Still this is a different kind of relationship connection than when you look somebody in the face day after day. The topics tend to be narrower than those of casual conversations. The answers to questions are perhaps more guarded than one that is not “in print” so to speak.

What is happening is CHANGE. Big time changes. And they are coming more and faster.

My son, who is an early computer techi says we haven't seen anything yet as far as computer, internet and tecnical changes. The year 2010 will be as different from today, as today was from 1990.

They changes impact all of us in different ways. My computer illerate wife who resisted any forway into anything technical *HAD* to learn email when our grown childred starting sending on-line photos of our grandkids to her.

Changes are neither good nor bad. It's what we do with them that counts.
Our social networks will change, but basically it each of us who decide what's important to us, what we need, and then will utilize the changing technology as we can to fulfill our needs and wishes.

Changes: Enjoy them; for we have no choice.

I believe several aspects have and are changing our communication networks, patters and frequency. But in reference to "one-fourth of Americans say they have no one with whom they can discuss personal issues," I wonder if it's not the absence of people, but the taboo of sharing something personal. Americans self-scruitinize excessively, and often are over-conscious of others' interpretation and could-be opinion to the point where we now filter our personal information more carefully as to not look a fool or desperate or inappropriate ourselves. I believe this societal behavior then reduces the number of actual all-access, all-info-worthy people we have in our lives.
Just food for thought.

When my 35th high school reunion in New Orleans was cancelled because the school was heavily damaged in Katrina, we had a 'virtual'reunion online. It was great to 'hear' from everyone and share pictures. It was also a wonderful way to make sure everyone was OK. We then discovered where everyone was living and held several mini-'in-person" reunions. We could not have done that without email and internet.

As the founder of a non-profit, I'm grateful that the internet is a cost effective meduim to outreach and market our mission to people all over the globe. But there is a flip side. In my work as a horticultural therapist, I find SO many people disconnected not only to people, but also to nature. Participants at my wellness workshops say that they are looking for ways to connect with gardening and nature in order to combat stress. I'm glad to be able to help people and I see incredible results. But it's too bad things have gotten to this point......

All in all, I'm excited about technology and the promise of connecting with old & new friends from all over. It's just a matter of balancing our many types of connections.

Ann. I recently heard a podcast interview with a game developer who was discussing gamer networks. This particular gamer had 50-100 other gamers in his network and said that although he never met any of them, he would trust them with his life. Pretty strong statement for the value of online social networks. That said, I think that it will take some time for us to realize the true depth of online relationships. Based on my own online relationships, it seems prevelant that they're great while you're actively involved in an online circle, but trust and commitment wane more quickly when there isn't a physical connection. Online, we tend to graduate from one group to another more easily than in person.

All the best

Tom

This social isolation/connection - depending on how you view it - comes at a physical cost. Forrester's research indicates that people feel more globally aware, more socially connected, and generally happier. But being online has had negative effects on hands, fingers, back, neck, eyesight, posture, and sleeping habits.

Sometimes it's a good idea to just step away from the keyboard and go speak to someone!

First off, this is a hot topic, not only here but in circles of every generation. People who use technology, as with all aspects of life, needs to follow the basic rule, "all things in moderation". That is to say, all things are good, but too much can turn a good thing bad.

"one-fourth of Americans say they have no one with whom they can discuss personal issues"

This has much to do with the basic family unit, not so much with computers. The family unit is deteriating and many younger people do not have readily available parents, grand-parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, that used to form that tight-knit family unit from which we learn, help, and confide in. Those with a closer family, find that the Internet keeps them together with emails, blogs, picture downloads, etc.

Yes, society is shifting their network around. We now have more contacts than ever and work relations have increased to areas we have never been able to go before computers. But really...how close can someone honestly say they are with electronic "friends"? Is this where someone says she can trust their electronic friend completely, then go off to meet them and find out it's not really who they thought? It's a scary world for parents. Electronic "friends" can be whoever they type. And you don't get the chance for that first impression...or second or third, that we need to read the body gestures that help form opinions that we can trust within ourselves.

Another thing to remember, we as human beings are in desparate need of touch. Everyone needs to have that face-to-face contact, that handshake, a hug, or share a common tear. That's the stitching that holds the fabric of society together.

Thank you for letting me have my say.

Actually I think the world has become too materialistic and the people just wants to more friendly to others at the time of their own need, basically stating that people have become more selfish. And due to this when we are in time of distress and we want someone close to speak about the situation and the trouble we are having we dont find it..

Its like people dont find find time for other, its like everyones makin his own life. but its not true, without the support of the people around us, the community, etc.. its not possible to make a proper living.

Due to the modern setup of the fast paced world people are kind of hiding what ever difficult emotions and mental statins they have inside them and finally they end up in the most negative aspects of life.

I stongly belive in the fact that a close friend is the best person to talk out things and thus in a way releasing our stress.

And this can be only achieved if we show the other person how caring we are. And dont forget to keep limits to our expectations from others.

I just read your mail on fraying social ties and it's really interesting.I'm an African,Nigerian to be precise and I'm home based.I must say I thought this "fraying" thing was peculiar to us especially in our family units.The world is such a busy place now such that people hardly have time for themselves.Now I kind of see things anew and I'm tempted to agree that there's a shift in the 'social fabric'.

Interesting comment, Fehintola. I can imagine how disconcerting it must be in a society whose fabric isn't already somewhat fragmented (like the US, for example). Thanks for your input.